5 Things I Like About Working with Kelly

I would say that 1 in 5 people, when they hear that I work with Kelly, tell me that they could never work with their partner. I’m not sure if it is a reflex, or if they are trying to praise me for doing it, or if they are trying to warn me of something, but it interests me because of how frequent and common a reaction it is.

To me, working with someone you like and who is good at their job is what is good about doing work. I’ve been fortunate to have had many such coworkers in the past, and Kelly is no exception.

What’s different about most work situations is that sometimes you also have to work with people you don’t like, or who aren’t good at their jobs, or some combination of the two, and we don’t have to deal with that (at least I don’t, and I’m reasonably confident Kelly feels the same).

In place of that, we do have to deal with other challenges and dynamics by virtue of us living and working together, but here are 5 reasons I like the setup we have:

1. Kelly started a cool business with Kind & Funny

In a nutshell, we get to meet with cool business owners, hear about their dreams, see if we can help them get closer to those dreams, and then make something cool for them that helps them get there. If Kelly had started Devereux Wigs or something then maybe I wouldn’t like working with her as much, but this aligns pretty well with what we’re both good at and what we both like to do.

2.Our skills complement each other

When we leave a client meeting and I draw nine boxes and write something barely legible and share it with her and say, “I think this is the storyboard,” I sometimes still can’t believe that she can translate that into a great design that’s even better than what I thought.

When Kelly tells me she needs to spend an hour writing out a script for an upcoming meeting she’s running and I ask her, “What do you want the meeting to do?” and then I write a potential agenda on a napkin and explain how I’d run it, I sometimes still can’t believe that she says, “This is good, thank you” then goes and crushes the meeting.

I enjoy her expertise, I enjoy learning from her, and I like that the things I’m good at are useful to her.

3. All of our challenges are progress

Those two previous examples sound really nice, but trust me that sometimes work is still work. Kelly doesn’t want to hear my feedback, or I can’t shake a bad mood and I’m a crappy teammate, or we have a difference of opinion on a project and then our egos get involved, etc. etc. etc. I take a lot of comfort knowing that what we learn and work on, whether personally or at work, benefits our entire relationship and also each of us as individuals.

A quick case in point: I’ve been working for a long time on being able to give direct feedback, because most of the time my first instinct is to be helpful and avoid conflict. Working with your partner is a crash course in learning that conflict is unavoidable so you need to learn how to handle it better.

So, the other day Kelly said, “I need your help on this,” and after hearing her out I said something difficult for me. I said, “I think you’re looking for me to solve this for you, and I can’t. I think you have to do the work and go through this feeling, and then we can talk about where you’re at in a couple of hours. I’m going to go drumming to give you space.”

It’s taken both of us some work to get to a place where I can think that, say it, and Kelly can hear it and accept it. Neither one of us likes it at first, but 40 minutes later I got a voice memo from an excited Kelly who had solved her problem and two others, and couldn’t wait to discuss with me when I was back. I’m better because I get to work with Kelly in this way, and I think vice versa.

4. Kelly is constantly inspiring

It’s pretty cool to be around this person all the time. A few weeks ago she declared this:

And now we have an art show on April 27:

I think I’m pretty cool, but I don’t know that I get to have an art show without Kelly. She thinks big, she makes things happen, and her constant search for creativity and meaning really is inspirational to be around.

5. We get to mix work and fun

Last week Kelly had a heavy design workload. When that happens she has to be a bit more intentional about taking breaks, eating healthy, and not letting an unfinished to-do list cause too much stress. As sidekick, I try and support that by food shopping, cooking, and cleaning, but also keeping an eye on balance. That’s why last week I channeled my experience from my previous company’s annual Bowl-a-Roma and made sure we took a break one day to play noon basketball (which we won together) and another day to go to Puttshack (which Kelly won on the last shot because she is a Puttshack assassin who has to take a picture with the scoreboard every time she wins):

That was a good day of work.

I’ve referenced this tweet from Shea Serrano, but I’m sharing it again because I believe it:

Do you work with a partner or friend and have some advice or want to talk about it? jed@kindandfunny.com.

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