5 Things I Liked About Reading the Book “Be Water, My Friend”
I just finished the book Be Water, My Friend: The Teachings of Bruce Lee by his daughter Shannon Lee, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
If you’re not immediately familiar with Bruce Lee, he was a martial artist and movie star who died in 1973 at the age of 32, and in that short time he was inspirational enough to be named one of Time magazine’s 100 most influential people of the 20th century.
The book examines Bruce’s philosophy and personal habits while using martial arts as a metaphor for any pursuit because, as Shannon says, “the literal translation of kung fu is skill achieved through hard work and discipline.”
Here are a few reasons why I liked it:
1. The origin of the title
This famous clip being recommended to me on YouTube is what led me to the book in the first place:
Shannon describes the human origin story of this quote. In her telling, the hotheaded young Bruce was instructed by his teacher to take a week off of practice to contemplate the advice: “Never be in frontal opposition to any problem, but control it by swinging with it.” A frustrated Bruce finds himself rowing in Hong Kong harbor, and he gets so angry that he starts punching the water only to have it suffer no harm. Then he watches a bird fly overhead, its reflection passing on top of the water as it goes, but the water remains unchanged. He gets it, and then spends the rest of his life trying to live it.
2. Shannon’s unique perspective
It’s important to note that this book isn’t by Bruce Lee, it’s by his daughter Shannon who was 4 when he died. Some of what Shannon recounts is firsthand, much is from reading her father’s writings, and a lot she has learned from other people who knew them both. There are several moments where Shannon’s perspective is especially powerful.
For example, here is what she says about her memories of her father from a young age:
I know him in a way that’s unclouded by any conflicts or hurts, jealousies or competition, or even any overly romanticized notions. I know his love, his energy signature. I know it because in our formative years, that is how we know our parents—through what we take in through our senses.
In another section she discusses how traumatic her father’s memorial in Hong Kong was for her, how she discovered the impact of that trauma years later, and how she started working through it. I actually watched her at the memorial as a four-year-old in the documentary Bruce Lee: The Man and the Legend on HBO Max, and I was very moved by the way she describes each point in her journey:
I remember the chaos like a tornado swirling all around me, while I myself was numb and probably in a state of shock … It had been there all along, but I hadn’t connected to it because I wasn’t really looking. I’d been hiding from the feeling of the death of my father and, in hiding from the feeling, I’d obfuscated a true look at this destructive pattern … I am on a path of understanding more and more about myself every day and shifting my perspective just like my father did.
Anyone with me on that one?
I just generally appreciated Shannon’s honesty and vulnerability and genuine nature, which I think is perfectly on display in this quote:
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the practice and understanding of his philosophy, it’s that you don’t need to be Bruce Lee in order to make the most out of your life. Trust me. As his daughter, the self-imposed stress to be one-tenth the specimen of a human that he was and in the way that he was has been overwhelming, paralyzing, and terrifying. It has stopped me in my tracks several times in my life. But that’s when I take a deep breath and remember: Bruce Lee doesn’t want me to be Bruce Lee. Thank god. And what you’ll discover in this book is that what Bruce Lee wants is for you to be the best version of you that you can be.
I am sure I’m not alone in feeling the pressure to live up to the expectations of others, and also in feeling the desire to be the best version of myself. If you’re in the same boat, this book may have a useful perspective for you as well.
3. The account of Bruce’s creative vision
There’s a story in the book about the filming of the movie Enter the Dragon. In the story, Bruce has poured a ton of work into rewriting script and working on new choreography to ensure that the film is an accurate and powerful representation of him and his culture, but the likely-influenced-by-racism studio hasn’t accepted the changes yet, and so Bruce has decided to show his resolve by not showing up on set until changes are made. In a letter to the chairman of Warner Brothers studio, he says one of the coolest things I’ve ever read:
You see, my obsession is to make, pardon the expression, the fuckingest action motion picture that has ever been made.
They ended up making Bruce’s changes, and, well …
4. It reminded me of our amazing client B() Ventures
Kind & Funny seems to attract amazing clients, which is one of the best parts of the business. One of those clients is Brian Abrams of B() Ventures, a venture capital firm that asks, “What if venture capital had a soul?”
Every conversation we ever have with Brian is mind expanding. If you want to read a fantastic example of a personal and professional mission, take a look at Brian’s post “A Better Way to B(e): Finding a Soul for Venture Capital” on LinkedIn. Here’s an example of Brian’s beautiful perspective:
Be Open-minded – Every time something fails and I find myself uttering a frustrated epithet, I engage in a simple but powerful exercise: replace the exclamation point with a question mark. “Now what are we going to do!” becomes “Now what are we going to do?” If we approach everything that comes our way with curiosity (the antidote to anxiety) and openness (the antidote to frustration), then there are no crises, only opportunities. What’s more, this subtle alchemy makes the process so much more enjoyable.
5. I can really use a lot of this advice
This past week marked a year since I left my full-time job of 12 years to “shake the Jed tree” as I’ve heard it excellently described. Here I am, still shaking, and still learning.
The past year has contained moments of clarity and cloudiness, of ambition and apathy, of purpose and panic. Certain parts of my life have come into more balance, and some I’ve discovered are over- or under-developed. As much as I want to be like Dr. Strange and see every potential path and figure out the best one, I have very much learned that embracing where we sit in the current moment of this life is all we really can do.
And so the words of Bruce Lee, presented through the viewpoint of his daughter Shannon, hit me as I continue to learn. Like these:
Life is an ever-flowing process and somewhere on the path some unpleasant things will pop up—it might leave a scar, but then life flows on, and like running water, if it stops, it grows stale. Go bravely on, my friend because each experience teaches us a lesson. Keep blasting because life is such that sometimes it is nice and sometimes not.
I’ll be out here blasting.
Is there an inspirational book or person you really like? jed@kindandfunny.com.