6 Things I Like About A’ja Wilson’s Book “Dear Black Girls”
Until Denver hopefully gets its own WNBA team someday, I’ve chosen to be a fan of the Las Vegas Aces because that’s the team my favorite player is on.
That player is A’ja Wilson, a two-time MVP on her way to a third, and maybe on the way to another championship.
I was initially drawn to A’ja because of how she plays—her game is a versatile blend of skill and power, she is an absolutely relentless competitor, and her elbow jumper is beautiful. I see echoes of Kevin Garnett when I watch her, which is about the highest basketball compliment I can give.
Since becoming a fan of her game, I’ve also become a fan of her (I love how she lets her personality shine during in-game interviews especially), so I was excited to read her New York Times bestseller “Dear Black Girls.”
Here are 6 things I like about the book:
1. A’ja’s Writing Style
A’ja writes with a friendly, conversational tone that is amplified by the book’s format where each chapter is framed as a letter from her to her audience (an “epistolary” book for my fellow vocab nerds). This allows her to be funny, heartfelt, direct, vulnerable, honest, and relatable as she tells engaging stories about her life, her family, and her career.
In the book, A’ja talks about how her dyslexia created challenges in school (another similarity with KG), but couldn’t stop her creativity and desire to someday be a writer. Near the start of the book she writes, “I’ve taken many losses in my life. But my voice is undefeated.”
I think A’ja does an exceptional job bringing life to her voice through writing, and I teared up a little bit reading this in the acknowledgments: “P.S. Hey, Mom and Dad. I did it. Your girl is an author.”
2. Mrs. Hattie Wade Rakes
My favorite presence in the book is A’ja’s grandmother, who was a hugely significant person in A’ja’s life as she grew up in South Carolina.
I can’t do Mrs. Hattie justice in this short space except to say she reminds me of Kelly’s grandmother Lorraine Hogan, which is a better compliment even than comparing someone to Kevin Garnett.
Mrs. Hattie grew up next to the University of South Carolina campus and literally had to walk around it to get groceries because of segregation. Now A’ja has a statue there. That story is impactful, but even more impactful to me are the details of how the two would play LEGOs together for hours, and the stories of Mrs. Hattie’s generosity to anyone and everyone, and the insights into the bond shared between grandmother and granddaughter.
This book is a wonderful tribute to Mrs. Hattie’s life and love and the legacy she left by being exactly herself.
3. A’ja’s Advice
I may not be in the book’s stated audience, and I sure don’t want to minimize the fact that A’ja addresses every letter “Dear Black Girls” and gives specific advice, but I found myself taking a lot of lessons, and powerful ones, from A’ja.
One chapter is called “Always Measure Your Dress Sitting Down", and it’s framed by a hilariously harrowing tale of a draft night wardrobe malfunction when A’ja was set to be the #1 pick. Now I’m not in danger of being the #1 pick, or worrying about my dress, but I can sure relate to this quote that sums up the story:
“We don’t grow up with a perfect handbook to life. For a lot of us, we’re the first people in our families to experience certain things … The irony is the more you achieve in life, and the older you get, and the more experiences you have, the more you start thinking: I actually don’t know a dang thing.”
Even as A’ja acknowledges that she has a lot to learn, it’s also very clear that she has a lot to teach.
4. Dawn Staley
If Mrs. Hattie is #1 in the book, Dawn Staley is #2, though Dawn has rarely been #2 at anything. A’ja’s coach at South Carolina, Dawn’s influence is palpable, and honestly makes me jealous of the experience of being coached by her.
Dawn Staley is basketball royalty. If you’re not familiar, you maybe have seen her on TV during the Olympics, or on A’ja’s t-shirt when she missed her first game since 2019 (!!!) on Sunday:
It was very cool to get a behind-the-scenes look at Dawn’s coaching style and the way that she both cares deeply and challenges directly.
5. A More Vulnerable MVP
Too often we look at our sports heroes as invulnerable, larger-than-life, and above the struggles that the rest of us share as human beings. We want them to have “The Mamba Mentality,” the late Kobe Bryant’s term for his all-consuming approach to becoming the best basketball player, and the best winner, he could be.
I sincerely appreciate A’ja flipping the script on those expectations in this book. Yes, she can dial up that Mamba Mentality on the court, but she also invites you to walk alongside her as she shares her experience with anxiety and depression:
“So basketball became all-consuming. And that’s a problem for me. Because just your ordinary baseline A’ja is obsessed with winning. But when you put A’ja in a Bubble for three months? It was like all my self-worth got channeled into one goal: winning that trophy …
When we got swept by Seattle in the Finals, to say I was devastated would be the understatement of the year. I put so much of the blame on myself. I felt like I had let everybody down … I just felt like such a failure …
Obviously, when you’re throwing up on the side of the road in front of your whole family, it’s not just about basketball. You got some other issues to unpack, girl …
I refuse to feel guilty for being me. At the end of the day, there are different paths to greatness, and I feel like we don’t hear that message enough, especially as Black women.
You can be vulnerable and still be the MVP.
You can be vulnerable and still be the CEO.
You can be vulnerable and still be in the White House.
You can be vulnerable and still get that promotion.
You can be vulnerable and still be an amazing mom.”
This inspirational perspective is why I’ll be buying A’ja’s Nike A’One shoes when they come out in 2025 (as long as they aren’t as narrow as Jayson Tatum’s, those don’t fit my wide feet).
6. It Has Me Pumped for the WNBA Playoffs
The playoffs start September 22, and if you don’t have a team yet you should either pick one, or come join me on the Aces bandwagon as they try and repeat as champions.
Just know that if your team is up against A’ja, you’re in trouble …
Any good books you recommend? jed@kindandfunny.com.