5 Things I Like About Going to the Movies Alone

Kelly and I live and work in a loft (shameless promo: you can rent it for photoshoots). During the pandemic when we worked for different employers, the toughest logistical challenge was that I am loud, and so her coworkers had to deal with hearing my voice come through on all their calls. For us though, the working proximity was OK.

Now that we work in the same proximity on the same things for the same company, the toughest logistical challenge is giving each other uninterrupted time to think and do focused work. We need to pay attention and have strategies for giving each other that time and space, and not breaking it to ask, “What do you think of this?” or “Can you make me a quesadilla?”

One of the ways I try and alleviate this challenge is by doing a lot of my thinking during a solo trip to the movie theater.

Here are 5 things I like about going to the movies alone:

1. It’s a perfect daytime mid-week activity

Back in the day Wednesdays and Thursdays were my days off. Not many friends had the same schedule, so during the daytime I had to find solo activities to take up the time and still have fun. Solo sushi lunch specials were one great way, and solo movies were another.

2. It helped me get over myself

I vividly remember this scene: I’m 15, my brother and I are riding along in the car with my dad, and he’s just said something that neither one of us teenagers can comprehend.

“What do you mean you don’t care what other people think about you?” I ask, incredulous.

“Fuck ‘em,” I remember him saying. “As long as you like yourself, who cares what they think?”

This was revolutionary advice to a couple of kids dealing with the social pressures of Middle and High school, and that feeling was a flashbulb moment for me. One could certainly argue that he took his own advice a bit too far, but one could also argue that I am still working to take it far enough.

In the process of learning that lesson, going to the movies by myself and enjoying it and not worrying what people who saw me would think was a big step.

3. It creates a nice weekly ritual

Our work life at Kind & Funny has a flexible structure, and it’s nice to have some regular grounding practices. Part of the movie ritual for me is watching this promo at the start of each movie because I have the essential AMC A-List pass (thanks for the recommendation Brad!), so I’ll let my friend Nicole tell you why it feels so special:

I think about how dramatic the pause is between “here ……………….. they are” every single time, and I love it. There are also other actions I take every time to make sure that I get the most out of my movie because …

4. It puts me in a creative zone

I check in and head up the escalator to grab any necessary concessions, chatting with the team members along the way to hear about what movies they’ve enjoyed and what’s coming up soon, then I go into the theater a bit early and grab my seat. Then I do a very specific and maybe weird series of things.

I take off my hat, flip it over, and put my wallet, phone, keys, and anything else in my pockets in the hat. This process is like reminding myself that everything outside this theater is going to sit here and wait for me to come out, I don’t have to worry about any of it. Then I recline my seat, usually turning on the seat heater, and totally relax for the next 2+ hours.

This relaxation is like a starting gun, and at that moment it’s as if every good idea that’s been somewhere in my head stands up and tries to get out like they’re deboarding an airplane.

There’s something to this, as its kind of related to having good ideas in the shower while your mind is preoccupied—I think it’s the combination of the having a lot of uninterrupted time combined with the deadline of the movie starting in just a few minutes that does it for me.

I’ve actually started taking a piece of paper and a pen because I have some of my best ideas and copywriting moments in the few minutes just before a movie starts. When I pulled them out to take notes at the last movie, it was very easy not to feel self-conscious about it because I was the only person in the theater for just the second time in my life.

5. I love Free Soloing a movie

Have you ever been literally the only person in a movie theater?

In the rock climbing community, “free soloing” a climb means doing it by yourself without ropes, like Alex Honnold in this movie. In my solo moviegoing mind, I have coopted this term to refer to going to the movies alone and being the only person in the theater.

The concept first occurred to me while watching Coraline in 2009. I realized I was alone in the theater when I entered, and I started to get excited that I’d have the place to myself. I got through the previews, and the production credits, and then 40 minutes of the movie until a latecomer arrived halfway through and stayed the rest of the way, watching in what I imagine was complete disorientation and completely infuriating me.

While that opportunity was squashed, I have since successfully free soloed Blue Beetle (an excellent movie) and Bad Boys: Ride or Die (fun times with some old friends, and Reggie gets a great scene, and Will Smith gets slapped in a great scene).

You’ve made it this far, so if you’d like to stick around for a few minutes more, I’ll tell you about the strangest near-free-solo I’ve ever experienced …

My company has been asked to send a representative to Miami to be on a panel at a small conference, and I’m the lucky volunteer. As a new-ish manager who is very sensitive to being criticized for going overbudget, I have the genius idea that I will save hotel room fare by taking a red eye from Denver, sleeping on the plane, crushing to the 9AM panel, then flying back in the afternoon. Somehow, nobody stops me from carrying out this insane plan.

After some brief panic over whether the date on a 12:30AM flight is late-night day of or early-morning next day, I successfully complete Step 1 and arrive in Miami. My uber driver takes me to the Caribe Cafe for a Cuban coffee and breakfast, and then I head to South Beach, crush the panel, and complete Step 2.

Step 3 is so many hours ahead of me. I’m on South Beach at 10AM on a Tuesday in stupid khakis and a stupid dress shirt with an incredibly stupid tie on carrying a stupid backpack without a change of clothes in it. I go to sit on the beach and read a book but it’s just too hot, so I come up with what I think is a pretty foolproof idea.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is playing nearby. It’s been out for a while, I’ve already seen it, and it’s 160 minutes long. I’ll buy a ticket and sleep in the air-conditioning. How crowded can it be?

I walk in, and it’s empty. This plan is going to work! I sit down, recline my seat, and start to nod off during the previews.

As the movie starts, in walks another solo moviegoer. I’m bummed I won’t get my coveted free solo, but I’m there to sleep so it’s OK, it won’t be a big deal and OH MY GOD HE IS WALKING DOWN MY AISLE AND HE SITS ONE SEAT AWAY FROM ME IN AN OTHERWISE EMPTY THEATER. We’re the only two people in the theater for the entire movie, and there’s only one seat between us.

“Did you say anything?” people usually ask me. No. I was shell shocked. I stared at him for a bit to try and imply that he should move, but I wimped out.

“Did you sleep?” people usually ask after that. Yes, after briefly wondering if I should be scared for my life or my backpack, I slept pretty much until Leo brought out the flamethrower, and then I successfully got to the airport to complete Step 3 and head home.

Have you ever free soloed a movie? I bet you remember which one. I’d love to know. jed@kindandfunny.com.